goodbye, my love

can it not be clearer than this? 

you used to excite me. the thought of you not only makes me smile, it makes me feel worthy to breathe again.  you gave me a new beginning, then,  when i felt that i lost not only myself, but everything i hold dear, to my past that just won’t let me be. you made me forget my darkness, by opening my eyes to the normal world, making me realize that there is light in the middle of the tunnel.

you inspired me. i saw myself as a totally different being from the husk that i was, just by basking under your radiance. because of you i aimed to become excellent in everything, just to prove that i am worthy of you. with you i saw myself growing to my fullest potential, and i knew that i was going to be successful just for the simple reason of being with you.

i could never stop talking of and about you. when people ask me about others like you, i adamantly maintain that you are the best, and no one can be better than you.
no one else will ever come close, i swore to them.
why?
because you took care of me. you provided for me. you gave me everything that i wanted. you had honor and integrity. we always had fun, we learned and benefited from each other. you had and were everything that i could ever want in my life.

but what happened?

all of a sudden, you became different. you started to strangle me with your new rules, almost irrational rules. you lost your spontaneity. you started to bore me with the routine that you wanted me to maintain. you stopped having fun with me and the rest of my friends. then you befriended people from another world who have different views, and they did not see me as someone worthy to be with you. these people whispered lies to destroy my friends’ reputations. these people nagged into your ears that i am working against you, and now, they are isolating me from you.

and you listened to their malicious deception. along with my friends, you started to turn your face away from us. you chose to believe your new friends.  you are now looking at new faces, fresher faces, who may or may not love you like i do, like we do.

you gave up on me.

you trust them, and listen to them, and have forgotten what we went through together. you have chosen to forget the sacrifices i made for you. you have forgotten all the satisfaction i gave you. for almost two years, i stayed with you, went through danger for you, sacrificed my family and almost everything i have for you.

will they love you like i did? will they give up things for you like i and my friends did? will they stay with you forever? i will not ask you to choose. because i have made up my mind. and i have made my choice.

i am fed up. i am tired. i am finally giving up. it saddens me no end, because i can not deny, that i loved you very very much.

but as with other things, this had to end. with tears in my eyes, and a sad song in my heart,  i am saying goodbye.

convergys, you will never be forgotten.

iyak ng aking pwet……

dati, iba may ari sayo. sa likod lang kita, at di kita pansin. kasi, pareho ka lang naman nung akin, eh.  nung una nga, ayoko sa may lugar nyo. kasi, yung dun sa may amin, mas masaya, at nandun ang mga kaibigan ko. pero sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, pinalipat ako sa lugar nyo, kasi daw medyo magaling ako, at kailangan, sa lugar ako ng mga magagaling mapunta. kaya ako napunta sa inyo, at nakilala kita.

isang gabi, wala yung amo mo. naisip ko, pwede naman siguro kitang angkinin, kahit isang gabi lang. kasi, sawa na ko dun sa kapatid mong boring. kaya, tinikman kita. at katulad ng inaasahan ko, nag-enjoy ako. kasi, mas makiri at malandi ka kesa sa kapatid mo. mas malikot, maikot at malambot. yung harap mo pa, nandun yung gustong- gusto kong laruin. ang saya, di ba?

naaliw ako sayo. lagi na lang ikaw ang una kong pinupuntahan. di ko na nga pansin yung kapatid mo eh. tinalikuran ko na siya. ikaw na lang at ang nasa harap mo ang inatupag ko. nagalit na nga sakin yung amo mo eh. sabi niya, kanya ka lang daw. pero anong magagawa nya? bago pa siya dumating, nasa akin ka na. kaya, yung kawawang amo mong mala-tsokolate ang mata, lumipat na lang sa iba.

at dun nagsimula ang ating affair. pag di ikaw ang kasama ko sa walong oras na pagpapakalunod ko sa pamamasyal sa buong mundo gamit ang bahay-gagamba, paglalaro at paminsan- minsang telebabad, di na ako mapakali. parang iba ang buhay ko pag wala ka sa piling ko.

bakit hindi? eh masaya sa paligid mo.napakalambot mo pa. napakatatag mo. kahit anong bigat, kaya mong pasanin. pag pagod na ko at inaantok, ikaw lagi ang nasasandalan ko.

ikaw ang naging saksi sa maraming bagay na nangyari sa buhay ko, tulad ng:
pag-aaway namin ng kasama ko sa bahay, pag-iyak ko dahil sa kanya,  pag aayos at lambingan namin.

at siyempre, nasaksihan mo ang  pa ulit ulit na pagpapalit namin ng kapitan,  hinanakit at chismis tungkol sa mga ipis sa barangay natin, tawanan na walang kwenta, lungkot nung malaman namin na di na kami kagawad sa lugar natin dahil taga walis na lang kami, galit dahil sa pambabalahura sa amin, galit dahil sa tagal ng mga pinangako sa amin, pag ka dismaya dahil sa kabiguan ng mga pangarap namin, saya nung matanggap namin yung sampung papel na pwedeng ibili ng kung anu-ano, at itong pinaka huli, at pinaka malungkot; utos  na di na kita pwedeng makasama.

galit ako. hindi lang dahil iiwanan na kita at iba na ang mag ma may ari sayo. galit ako dahil halos lahat na yata ay gusto nilang alisin sa akin at sa mga kaibigan ko. aping- api na ang pakiramdam ko.

galit ako, dahil sa dinami- dami ng pwedeng pagdiskitahan, ikaw pa at ang mga kapatid mo ang napag tripan nila.  ganito ba talaga ang uso ngayon?

di na planet of the apes. PLANET OF THE IPIS NA!!!

ngayon, di ko na alam ang gagawin ko. di ko alam kung kaya ko pang maghanap ng katulad mo. siguro, pansamantala, dun muna ako sa pinsan mo. malulungkot ako. sobrang ma mi miss kita. tsaka yung harapan mo na hilig kong laruin. at ma mi miss ko rin yung mga kapatid mo at ang mga amo nila. alam ko na magiging malungkot na ang buhay natin magmula sa Lunes.

ilang oras na lang, di na kita makakapiling.

kaya, paalam, aking upuan. paalam, station #661.

isa lang ang hiling ko sa mga diwata para sayo.

nawa’y mabango ang utot ng sunod na uupo sayo.

gnmsc